when in a rut.. look forward to TOMORROW

Life's a real wheel. This is primarily the reason why I worry whenever I feel so happy over something. So I've never had absolute happiness, you know, being happy without a dark thought of "it" being gone tomorrow.Whenever I feel light and happy and carefree that I laugh over the most mundane of things, behind it all, I'm thinking " hey, maybe I shouldn't laugh too hard, I don't wanna be crying tomorrow.Believe me,call it superstitious but this happened a lot of times in the past.So it shouldn't come as a surprise then that while I blogged about being happy yesterday, I am feeling low and gloomy and disappointed today. I can't believe how things can turn around so quickly. It's nothing major but I guess I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. I just feel like I had to write about this, vent it out, get it out of my system. Cos this feeling is ugly and anything that's ugly and you let it simmer inside you will eventually nibble at whatever goodness you have in you. I hope this is making sense.

Anyway, what's gotten me feeling so down today has something to do with a person. You know when there's a person that you look up to, that you have so much respect for (even if you've only been with the person for a week or two, say in a convention), unfair as it may be to that person, we develop a set of expectations for them. So when they do something that we thought is so totally out of character(from our perception), we get DISAPPOINTED. And it's the worst feeling in the world ever. Well, next to regret maybe. I met this person in a group setting and I thought he's great, kind and considerate. patient. I can't go into the details but the thing is he did do something no one expected him to do. I don't know how the others felt about it but me, I felt let down. Gosh! When will I ever learn not to expect too much from anybody?I feel a little better now. Well, just look at the brighter side. From where I am now emotionally, there's nowhere to go but up.As always, when in a rut, there's one phrase that never fails to perk me up:

"This too shall pass."

- from the movie My Best Friend's Wedding