(I know, this is such a total rip off from the TV show of the same title but what can I do, can't think of anything more original)
I've been lying in bed for like 5 hours, desperate to catch a wink but can't coz I have the worst cold ever. The kind that inhibits you to get enough oxygen to breathe and causes a splitting headache. I can't think exactly how much damage I'm causing my sinuses from blowing my nose too hard. And on times like this, lying in unwilling wakefulness,all sort of thoughts come to mind.I had a dream the other night. And in that dream, I was told I have Leukemia, which is like being sentenced to death.The funny thing is, the person who told me isn't even a doctor, just an acquaintance. For some reason, I gave her a sample of my blood and she looked at it and declared that I have too much red blood cells and too few platelets.Which doesn't make any sense at all but I believed her. I even told her that explains why I have these cuts on my knees that doesn't heal easily.So I'm dying, I'm 27 years old and I'm dying.
Next episode of my dream series. I met this guy and I married him. Can you believe it?! You don't marry guys you just met! Not unless you're in Vegas, of course. But I'm thinking, at least, in dreamland, I've got serious balls, or mental illness, depending on how you'd look at it.What surprised me though was that I had the nicest feeling. I actually liked this unknown guy and it was such a nice feeling being married to him. Weird. Considering how I hated the fact that people around me are jumping into the Marital Bliss? bandwagon like there's no tomorrow.
Speaking of there being no tomorrow, what bothered me most about the dreams was the one where I was dying. I'm not ready to die, yet. Nobody is. There's too much things left undone, too many words unsaid. But the truth is, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that's that, the end of this so called life. So the most logical thing to do is to live life like there's no tomorrow. Yeah, try doing this and you'd look like you're on a daily dose of ecstacy. Ohh, not nice. Ok, so it's definitely easier said than done. But what's a girl to do? I've always said it's so much better to know you're dying than having you're life taken like the candle light on a heavy gust of wind.But since we're not privy to God's plan,I try and keep a few things in mind, such as:
1. To each his own. I always try to remember that God has a different plan for each of us. So if a friend or a neighbor gets lucky in life, I try to avoid the initial feeling most of us would get, that of feeling envious. Telling myself "That is his/her life. You have your own" usually works.
2. Mind your own business. Resist engaging in rumour mongering. I know this is tough since it seems to be a favorite past time for a lot of people and refusing to at least listen could easily make you an outcast.What works for me? I try and treat gossips like water through a sieve, it goes in and it goes right out. I don't let it affect my perception of the subject's character. If they say someone's bad news, well, I just have to see for myself.
3. I force myself to show emotion. That is, telling people how I feel about them, especially my family. It has always been awkward for me to say the three words to my parents, or sisters for that matter. And I can remember the number of times I've told my Mom that I love her: one. And thru sms at that. And she initiated it so it would be so wrong to not reciprocate. I'm still far from being vocal about my feelings.
4. Learn how to touch-and-go.I do believe that at the instant I set foot in the working world, life had been one of touch-and-go. If I really think about it, it started when I left town to attend college in another city. But I had been emotionally attached to a lot of people during that stage that I could never think of them as mere extras in my life story. Beyond that though, I try not to be too attached with the people I meet along the way, especially since most of them are transients. You learn from them, you have fun with them, and then you go your own way.Cos if you allow yourself to be too involved, you will have a problem moving on.
I've been lying in bed for like 5 hours, desperate to catch a wink but can't coz I have the worst cold ever. The kind that inhibits you to get enough oxygen to breathe and causes a splitting headache. I can't think exactly how much damage I'm causing my sinuses from blowing my nose too hard. And on times like this, lying in unwilling wakefulness,all sort of thoughts come to mind.I had a dream the other night. And in that dream, I was told I have Leukemia, which is like being sentenced to death.The funny thing is, the person who told me isn't even a doctor, just an acquaintance. For some reason, I gave her a sample of my blood and she looked at it and declared that I have too much red blood cells and too few platelets.Which doesn't make any sense at all but I believed her. I even told her that explains why I have these cuts on my knees that doesn't heal easily.So I'm dying, I'm 27 years old and I'm dying.
Next episode of my dream series. I met this guy and I married him. Can you believe it?! You don't marry guys you just met! Not unless you're in Vegas, of course. But I'm thinking, at least, in dreamland, I've got serious balls, or mental illness, depending on how you'd look at it.What surprised me though was that I had the nicest feeling. I actually liked this unknown guy and it was such a nice feeling being married to him. Weird. Considering how I hated the fact that people around me are jumping into the Marital Bliss? bandwagon like there's no tomorrow.
Speaking of there being no tomorrow, what bothered me most about the dreams was the one where I was dying. I'm not ready to die, yet. Nobody is. There's too much things left undone, too many words unsaid. But the truth is, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that's that, the end of this so called life. So the most logical thing to do is to live life like there's no tomorrow. Yeah, try doing this and you'd look like you're on a daily dose of ecstacy. Ohh, not nice. Ok, so it's definitely easier said than done. But what's a girl to do? I've always said it's so much better to know you're dying than having you're life taken like the candle light on a heavy gust of wind.But since we're not privy to God's plan,I try and keep a few things in mind, such as:
1. To each his own. I always try to remember that God has a different plan for each of us. So if a friend or a neighbor gets lucky in life, I try to avoid the initial feeling most of us would get, that of feeling envious. Telling myself "That is his/her life. You have your own" usually works.
2. Mind your own business. Resist engaging in rumour mongering. I know this is tough since it seems to be a favorite past time for a lot of people and refusing to at least listen could easily make you an outcast.What works for me? I try and treat gossips like water through a sieve, it goes in and it goes right out. I don't let it affect my perception of the subject's character. If they say someone's bad news, well, I just have to see for myself.
3. I force myself to show emotion. That is, telling people how I feel about them, especially my family. It has always been awkward for me to say the three words to my parents, or sisters for that matter. And I can remember the number of times I've told my Mom that I love her: one. And thru sms at that. And she initiated it so it would be so wrong to not reciprocate. I'm still far from being vocal about my feelings.
4. Learn how to touch-and-go.I do believe that at the instant I set foot in the working world, life had been one of touch-and-go. If I really think about it, it started when I left town to attend college in another city. But I had been emotionally attached to a lot of people during that stage that I could never think of them as mere extras in my life story. Beyond that though, I try not to be too attached with the people I meet along the way, especially since most of them are transients. You learn from them, you have fun with them, and then you go your own way.Cos if you allow yourself to be too involved, you will have a problem moving on.
Disclaimer: huge thanks to Sola Lumina Captura for her pic above. Great shot! I've always had a thing for highways, dirtpaths, the roads less travelled.. someday I'm gonna put together a portfolio on ROADS. Sola's site and her great pics are on this site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/solaluminacaptura/54667385/
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