hahaha ok, so the title itself should serve as a warning to someone who stumbles into this blog... please for your sake, skip this entry and go delve into another, save yourself a headache. i would recommend earlier entries. my life lately has been both chaotic but unexciting that entries as of late are so ho-hum.. beside's, this entry is more in the found-from-dog-eared-pages-of-an-old-diary-never-meant-to-be-read-by-the-public category... soooo on with the show.
ok, so what prompted this blog to be written ( I rmbr always reminding myself not to succumb into the temptation of putting on paper thoughts like this, it's just so private, a conversation just between myself and i, and being in my late twenties, believe me the temptation is great) is that over the last week, I'd been subjected to questions that I have long ago stopped answering. In the last two consecutive days, i'd been asked the same question by two different set of people. Not that I encouraged them, for some reason conversations just turned into that topic and since some people are aware of my status ( can't really hide it when you see these people 5 days a week). When people are bored and conversations turn into topics such as "getting married" or having a "love life", people automatically look at me.ouch. and ouch. saying those words hurts. it's more uncomfortable than sitting on a dentist's chair to have a bad tooth extracted. It's not that I take it against these people, I work with them and i like them and they're all really good people. and I know they just can't help themselves, I know i won't be able to help myself when I'm in their shoes. But it's just that, I am really uncomfortable during times like this. I know am supposed to just play along but I've long ago been cursed w/ something called "being-really-transparent" and when something embarrasses me, all blood rushes into my face... and this further turns people into teasing me further... like.."are you wearing blush ons? or are u blushing just now?? ahhhh. arrghh! This is the part that i feel I should pull a disappearing act. But knowing that's impossible, I just look at them w/ a stupid grin and not say something and hope and pray hard that the conversation turns into something else. Really, i know I look really stupid then. Now, this just reminded me that my high school friends are organizing a reunion for early next year..*sigh* i know i'll have to prepare myself into fending off this type of talk again.. but i guess that's for another blog.
ahhh. there's a lot i want to say but I can't bring myself to write them. I always have this type of discussion going on in my mind too but I'm debating whether they're suitable for this blog or not. I know not a lot of people reads this blog but I do know a few who does. a couple that I know, and a handful that just "stumbles" into this. Some thoughts I really, really wanna be able to write down, would give me a chance to dissect them and bring some sort of order or coherence into them. If only I'm the type who can write into a paper diary and keep it locked, but I am so disorganized I don't even take vitamins regularly cos I often forget it. I'm not making sense, I know am not.. so before this turns into a long-winding-narrative-into-nothingness... imma stop right here. will edit if i get into it...
Note: if u managed to read this entry in full and felt like you've been cheated out of your precious 2 mins.. this is the part where i say.."i told you so!" lol
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