movie/documentary : Catfish

                                          credit: UniversalPictures

it's a shame Universal Pictures didn't come up w/ a much better trailer than this one, cos it's totally misleading. it certainly isn't a thriller for Pete's sake. and what's up with that Hitchcock snippet of a review. one youtube commenter is sooo right in saying it's gonna attract the wrong kind of audience. which is a pity considering this movie isn't about just being lied to, or being manipulated, or about psychopaths. it's a much deeper movie and it touched me so much. and i sincerely thank a good friend for recommending this docu to me, altho, it certainly is isn't for everyone. People can be so complicated, and you might think them, weird, sick, psycho's, retards, and other degrading terms but at the end of the day, they're human beings too. I believe there's a bit of Angela in all of us, you know, the yearning over something that's never gonna happen, the time that has overtaken us and therefore we cannot go back to, lost dreams, being unable to deal with the present reality. I think she is just one person trying to deal with her life, with her reality, and aren't we all trying to do the same thing? I mean, not all of us are def gonna do what she did but I guess people cope up in many different ways, and we can't judge her. *sigh*. I guess imma do a little fb friends list audit though, haha, just kidding. But this is a good reason as any not to do SNS a few years from now hahaha. good thing i'll still have this blogspot space. I wanna keep this forever. ^_^ thank you Blogspot lol

random posts..

so i thought of this entry because there are a LOT of  times when i'd think of the most mundane, the most random things and more often than not they're thoughts that are too short to warrant their own post, but are the most telling about myself, so I wanna write them down here. I'll try to write them real time, and some posts will be how I am feeling at that very moment. 




07242011 3:16
        I wish to meet somebody who can keep me on my toes every time. there. there goes my prayer. ^_^


07242011  4:20am 
        ...like seeing a falling star, bittersweet. a brief encounter with happiness. here now, gone the next. but  just like the star, it's never coming back. so there's this thing called, moving on.


07242011  4:32am
        This is Me. weird. a hopeless romantic. mushy. not your typical girl-next-door type. i don't think the same as everyone else, don't act the same as everyone else, behave like the rest of the others, don't dig the same songs you do, watches a little too much of movies, being so serious on some things all of a sudden, unpredictable, couldn't care less for things the other care a little too much about. a freak. but i'm never gonna change for anyone, no, never for anyone. So if it means ______, so be it.


072429011  4:49am
        ahhh why I am feeling so down tonite. this is sooo not me. lol but i guess it can happen once in a while. perhaps it is from listening to this song nonstop for the last hour? ^___^

                                          credit: spykidsawesome

07242011   8:13am
        I'm becoming a facebook whore, and I'm not liking it very much. uh, i think i should get off of it but I'm not doing it cold turkey, lol. a little at a time. practice moderate everything. :)


07242011   8:25am
       Sometimes I ask myself why I think the way I think, but then it must be all the books I read as a kid. the "conditioning" concept in Psychology is really true. I think those books, and those movies, made me the way I am today. Now I wonder if things could have been different had I tried to behave the way others do. If I read stuff that were way too much for such a young mind to bear. I guess I'll never know.
        
07262011   8:10am
        We all have our own ideas of achieving peace, i mean, not eternal peace lol. more like a peaceful moment, when you can relax and think. And one of my favorite is propping my feet up on the window ledge in my room and lying back in bed, staring at the sky, watching the clouds go by, and think. 
( there's a vacant lot at the back of the house so I have an unhindered view of the sky ). with or without music, it does the trick all the time. :)


07302011  12:34am
        I love it when it's raining heavily on my day off: blanket, bottomless coffee, movies, books, early am peace and quiet. aaah I'm all set. plus i could sleep in for as loooong as I want lol.


07302011 4:04am
        I hate it when my happiness is in the hands of another. I totally hate it. I guess that would make me one very lonely person. but i guess i could live w/ myself. i think this will change but i have zero idea when.


07302011  5:30am
        i feel like i'm rooted at the exact same spot i've been on for the last 5 yrs. i should seriously consider moving a step  forward. but how.*.*


08012011   7:33am
        i don't agree w/ that song, the art of letting go, art is supposed to be beautiful but i see no beauty in it, just pain. ok, so one might argue that there is beauty in pain, but d*mn, tell that to the person who's hurting. 


08032011   10:53am
        I just found a new song to be added to my playlist for the BIG day lol, along with Brian Melo's All I Ever Wanted . <3 <3 <3  (in case the song's deleted on youtube, it's  The Last Goodnight's In Your Arms )

                                       credit:  dexhugh

08062011   6:34am

        what sucks abt love is, if the other person hurts you, u try your mightiest to hate him, but u never can't. u get disappointed maybe, pissed off, sure, but never hate. and u feebly try to curse him, and promise urself never to see him or talk to him again. but what hurts the most is knowing that even as you say these words, u know deep inside, at his first call, at the first sign, you'll come running back to him. that's what sucks. ahhh love's a bitch..

08062011   6:56am

        sad fact: the rest of my body follows my brain, everything, except my heart.

       

08122011   11;06am
        i know it's a lie, but i'm still falling for it, hook, line, and sinker. i'm just like any other girl after all.


08142011  12:09am
        your heart fears easily, so you gotta trick it, put your hand where it is and say All Is Well. - from the movie 3 Idiots


08302011  12:25am
     ...when you're thinking of someone who's thinking of someone else. LIFE can be such a joke sometimes. 


09012011  5:15am
     him for me - the grand canyon. me for him - an unheard of, remote island no one can even pinpoint on a map. go figure.


10032011   5:20am
      he's everything that's wrong. and yet, somehow, it had felt so right. i hate it when i'm missing someone. absolutely.hate.it.


10032011     
      ok you're cute. and nice. and decent. and smart. but i aint gonna like you. cos you're someone i might fall in love with. 


12.29.2011  how do you get over someone? get over crashed hopes, layers of disappointments? i do it the hard way. no keeping-myself-busy trick, no drinking to forget. in fact, i wallow in the sadness, i take it head on. i allow myself to miss the person, day after day, week after week, til i forget i'm trying to get over someone and just realize i'm already over that someone. it's worked for me countless times before, no reason why it won't this time around.


01.14.12


early am thought. ang pag-aasawa,for me, it's too much work. i know. it's a selfish thought. but, just sayin'. ahhh i wish i can stay young and single forever. 

Cafe Mesa

I've been passing this restaurant almost every night when I was still working inside Clarkfield and I thought what a charming little restaurant. Reminds me somehow of those quaint diners in small American towns in the movies. So I said to myself I'd have to dine there one time. And finally! 07.17.2011 lol. I loved it.So much so that we dined there twice, in the same afternoon haha. We wanted to go there when the sun had already set because I loved the lighting from the outside however we arrived a couple of hours early, hungry, so we really had no choice. It was perfect really, since it's nestled amidst the trees, it was really laidback and relaxing, ideal for long, lazy conversations. So quiet in fact that you can hear crickets plus the air is super fresh. Plus, it was a pleasant surprise when they played a few tracks off the OST of the movie A Walk To Remember. For some reason, i thought it really suited the place.

Stotsenberg Park

pastrami, anchovies and bellpeppers in onion and oil. just so so, skip this.

dory fish w/ tomato and olives. superb. ^_^

so oishi! :)

blueberry cheesecake. just ok.

  After maybe about an hour, we took some pictures in the park just across the road til the sun set, and we went back in and had coffee and cake. I loved the place before, and now, I love it even more. <3

i just loved this time of day.

that's me inside lol..

                                          credit: Akasacian


P.S. all pictures above are courtesy of my good friend Frencel who also has a blog w/c is 1,000x better than mine ,lol. frenzfries.blogspot.com

..if this isn't a meltdown, i don't know what is hahah..

1. Hands down, I am this world, and this lifetime's BIGGEST fool. I mean, so what did I expect? (insert Neil Gayman's quote below). I am so upset I'm crying but I hate this feeling and thought I should get busy. So what do I do? I get up and proceeded to organize the clothes in my closet. But damn! I couldn't stop the tears, so I'm picking up clothes and hanging them while crying. Mad. Shortly thereafter, I look at myself in the mirror, and I saw how my eyes are already puffy, and I tell myself  "get a hold of yourself.." I have some errands to do in an hour, important errands and I can't go out looking like this. So I try to stop crying already but then I think of "the situation"  and the tears starts to well up, again. ahhhh this is just soooo messy. I don't ever want to have to go through this "situation" again.  Now, I'm having  a hard time typing cos I can't see through the tears. ah, (insert cuss word)!!!

credit: tootieadi                




.. an hour later.

I hate the feeling of being in love. or maybe of hurting because of it. It's like the worst feeling ever. And I've  told myself countless times not to let someone have this much control,  this much effect on me. But see, my heart never ever fuc#in' listen. I wish I could grab it out of my chest. What a nuisance.

.. still several hours later.

Ok, we all have this moment, haha meltdown-emote-drama moment. But as always, it passes. And then I'm just thinking I'm hurt not because of XXXX per se but because I am soo disappointed. I always try to expect the best in people and when it turns out I expected wrong, it hurts. What a letdown. Oh well, I'll live.

.. a day after.

Ok, so I didn't die haha. and I had to edit the title of this post cos it's too funny lol. For some reason, the situation sorted  itself out. I don't know, could be just a misunderstanding? lol but if it happens again, i'll just repost this. ^___^ i hope not though. *crosses fingers8