I Kissed Dating Goodbye...

One of my workmates had been telling everyone that personally, she doesn't wanna settle down yet... the biggest factor in her decision to take the plunge is that she already wants to have a baby.. that's it. she feels 
pressured that she's nearing the big 3-0 and that she might have a difficult time conceiving if she'll have it 
in her 30's... and well.. she has a point. but i feel like giving her my 2 cents... i told her " well, it's 
like, welcome to the rest of your life. if you can imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with him 
then by all means, go ahead." 


Pondering on this later, i thought, that, right there, is the reason i'm still single. I'm not gonna make the jump just for the hell of it. That, and the book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye which I read in high school. I didn't 
realize the impact of that book on me until much, much later. Basically, what the book says is that when you're 
not ready to buy, don't go shopping. When you're not ready to settle down, don't date. which is quite fucked 
up really. well, to some extent, it has its logic. But when you think about it, there's nothing really wrong 
with dating. it's basically like two friends having a good time over dinner or something, right? uh,i wouldn't 
know. Reading such a book at such a young age left a big impression on me, so much so that I really didn't go out with anyone my entire college life. i was sooo scared of this phenomenon called "getting-pregnant-out-of-wedlock" that to prevent that from happening, i didn't, at all, dated. ok so yeah, there's condom and pills and all that, but I wasn't gonna sleep with just anyone. There has to be emotions involved. And you get emotionally attached with a guy if you know them, right? if you're going out with them? so to cut the nip in the bud, so to say, i didn't. that zeroed out the probability. So yeah, I was naive, make that IS naive. am living in the past. am a cave woman. was a freak. lol. am taking back that last one. But that's me. Fast forward to the working world, and I had another excuse. too busy. And i think, to be brutally honest with myself, I also think it's because am too lazy and selfish too. lazy.. like a flower waiting for a bee (can a flower chase a bee?! lol crazy thought). selfish... i want ALL my time to myself. i treasure my ME time so much. i love sleeping. i love just surfing the net.. watching a movie. reading a book. I am happy with just myself. Though I'm completely aware that a few years from now, this line of thinking will change. That, as cheesy as it may sound, I'm gonna need someone to complete me. I know, I may be happy in my single blessedness now but I could still be happier if I have someone. And I'm not gonna lie and say am not hoping to find that someone that's meant only for me. 5 billion people. oh man, the odds are not looking good. Especially for someone who miserably failed Dating 101. In the end, the thought of dating for me is... just that. just a thought. My take on it now is that I'd have a greater chance learning a new language than settling down anytime soon. 


On second thought, a potted flower can go places. hhmmmm. =)