another loony rambling =)

I've got a serious problem:


"I am irrevocably, unconditionally in-love with Edward Cullen".


And the worst part is, he just managed to bring my expectations of the male partner to the level
that is not possible for a mere mortal to reach. And what does that tell me? One thing. I am
DEFINITELY going to end up a spinster now. UUgghh! As if I wasn't trudging on that lane
enough already. I am 27 years old, single, and doesn't have a single clue as to what exactly
it is I am looking for. Although, I have always been aware of what it is I am NOT looking for.
SO at least that narrows it down a bit. I've had a hard enough time appreciating the other male
gender. To illuminate on this pathetic issue some more, let me break it down to these few salient
points (mostly for my own benefit).

1. Since day 1 (or primary school for that matter), I've been surrounded by males who has
either one or all of these qualities (good look, wealth, some small town fame, intelligence). Surrounded which means we are either taking the same classes or is going to the same school. This went on til college. The downside to this was my discovery that a lot also turned out to be either one, or again all of these:

a) weird b) jerk c) a student activist d) gay e) and the saddest of 'em all, TAKEN.


2. I--don't--date, like at all, like NEVER. One thing about me which is good, but other times
not, is that you can't make me do something that I don't want to. Or be at a place I don't wanna
be at. Or be with someone I don't wanna be with. I avoid awkward things like a plague. And
dating is one of that. I've only been in one once and I swear, "disaster" isn't even the worst
synonym that would describe what transpired. Hence, if I don't know the guy or if he doesn't
make my heart the least bit curious, there's not a chance that I'm going out with him. I know
some would consider it just being plain snobbish but I'd rather be labeled such by people who doesn't really matter in my life than do something I would very much rather not. I just don't see the point in subjecting myself to the torture of being uncomfortable in the company of someone I'm not being in sync with. And honestly, I think I'm doing them a favor. They don't have to wine and dine me only to be told a few months down the road that "hey pal, i think we're better off as friends, thanks for the LV bags-CL shoes- free movies....". Ok, now I'm sure that images of me sitting in an oldies chair, knitting (or maybe cross-stitching as I don't know whack about knitting), reading, or watching movies of days gone by must be playing in the minds of whoever has so much free time on their hands as to bother reading this lol).
3. But perhaps the most influential of all are these sappy films/novels I've been delving into.
They have almost conditioned my mind to dream of a guy so ideal and whose love so
impossibly real they must exist only in one's dream. A Walk To Remember. A Love Story.
The Notebook. Last Of The Mohicans. A Room With A View, An Affair To Remember,
Great Expectations. I could go on and on. I am also most tickled by love stories
that defies nature. Vampire-human love affairs (Twin Effects), lovers meeting from different
times (Lightning - Koontz, Somewhere In Time, Lake House), among others.


The latest addition to these heart-warping films is Twilight. It brought an altogether different
side to my male ideal. Something that is hard to find even in dreams. Edward Cullen is just so
sensitive, so intense it is almost painful to love him. Pity he'll most likely exist only in the pages
of the books/ film reel though. Maybe the reason why we are so enamored with him is
that he says the things that we ache to hear from our guys, but never does. Edward's
words alone often gives me an OMG- can't-believe-he's-saying-that-it's-just-so-beautiful giddiness, thanks largely to Meyer's almost prosaic manner of writing. An example is when he has to go hunting and he bid his farewell to Bella in these words:
"... Take care of my heart. I left it with you".
Now, this is also exactly the reason why he'll never jump out of Meyer's pages. Now if a
normal human guy would attempt at being poetic in normal everyday conversations, we women will just suspect either or all of these things:

a) he's copying out of mushy novels to cover his cheating/lies
b) he's gay
c) it's just plain 'ewww'

--- To Be Continued.


EDIT 2010: am just wondering since I mentioned that I won't date a guy unless "he makes my heart a bit curious.." and all that hoopla, well, HOW WILL HE KNOW he does?! cos when I like a guy I get soooo shy I can't even look him in the eyes nor be friendly with him or start  a conversation or something. some girls do it left and right, but I can't flirt to save a life! I swear, this is a curse!! Sometimes, I even get self-conscious when I know I'm within his sight. Gosh! I am such a freak! *sigh* i'm gonna be a spinster, no doubt about it now. ^^

my Twilight books!!!

Thank God for good friends!!

After scouring practically ALL National Bookstores, Fullybooked branches, among others in Angeles and Metro Manila by phone, I have given up on finding a complete copy of all the 4 Twilight series books. A friend even ordered online but she wasn't able to get a confirmation yet. I refuse to read the Adobe version and all these notepad copies that have been proliferating at work. I love the smell of paper when I read a new book and it won't hurt my eyes besides. So i have to have the paperback/hardbound copies soon.Then when I logged on to Amazon, i saw that they have it in-stock. So I was thinking it must be available in some other countries. And then it hit me!! A friend is coming back home from Ireland for her wedding. Now when I think of any European country, I think of all these quaint little bookstores that are teeming with really rare finds and a few mainstream stuff as well. I could just picture out the Twilight books displayed in shelves and my hands are itching to reach across my imagination and snatch them. As it turns out, I didn't have to wish for a superpower to do that. I thickened my face and ask my friend if she could be so kind as to look for them for me. Now, I didn't realize that the books are actually quite heavy and the 4th book is in fact looking more like an Encyclopedia than a fiction novel. Had I known, I wouldn'd have had the gall to have her lug it from Dublin all the way to the Philippines. But a real trouper and good friend that she is, she, and my books, landed safely in the country. To cut the story short, I am now a proud owner of the 4 Meyer books. And the bonus is, although it is quite pricey when bought in Ireland, the bookstore was then running a sort of a 3-for-the-price-of-2 sale, so I didn't have to shell out that much. Ah, well, thank God for good friends.. and quaint bookstores. =)

how I'm feeling about LIFE at this very moment...

"... ei! I'm just passing through.".

DisclaimerA: Thank you hhsc/Greg for the awesome pic. More of his pics here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/37313642@N00/580842937/

Twilight.. I am in such a muddle I couldn't come up with a more imaginative title....

People will say I'm crazy when I say that, like Daniel Radcliffe, this obsession over Twilight is starting to annoy me. Oh wait, no, it IS driving me mad. Not the movie per se but all these people who suddenly will forego their nightly fantasies of rockstars & Texas ranchers, Gap models & Wentworth Millers and Piolo Pascuals of this world and trade 'em with..sniff..vampires.
Its not happening here yet as the materials are not available but I can almost see now the walls of girls ages 6 to 60 to be covered with, what else.. sniff... vampires.

No thanks to Stephenie Meyer. The gothic romance that had been associated with vampires for decades was, in 2 hrs and 1 minute, turned into a PG-13 teen romance.Never have I seen a vampire movie that's rated PG-13. And I've seen plenty. Mmmm, I think Van Helsing was a PG13 though. Ok, saved for that one. But the rest were mostly rated R.

I've been so into vampires since I saw a direct-to-video vampire film Subspecies (Bloodstone) in 1991. I was 10 years old then. It was my very first vampire movie and the also the first time that I witnessed a vampire going against its nature and falling in love with a human. I was instantly smitten. I think vampires are very passionate, intense, hypnotic. Well, they're designed that way as Edward Cullen said. And I've been drawn into their web for more than a decade now. In fact, I get out of my way to watch every fanged movie out there, even the foreign ones with sub-titles. And I would sometimes even dream that I'm a vampire, and it would feel so real. creepy. yes, it is. And I'm pretty sure its freaking my roomies out.It doesn't help that I'm a nocturnal person, and that I'm cold-blooded. Not in the I'm-an-axe-murderer-I'm- pals-with-Freddy-Kruger sort of way. It's just that my skin would sometimes feel cold to the touch (hhahaha! am hearing a resounding "Owwsss! at this point). More like clammy, you'd say. But really, I' not pulling anyone's legs off. And a normal temp for everyone is already a fever for me. In short, Im a vampirella in waiting.. or a woman waiting to be
turned into one.

And now, because of the movie, everyone's falling in line giddy with a dream of being turned by their vampire prince. sniff sniff.. so much rivals, not even a possibility of one vampire existing.

Okay, so i was just feeling jealous which is really, really lame. But I can't help it. And that's why the cyberspace really comes in handy for venting purposes, lol! There were only a few of us with that dream before, and now half the world has gotten rid of garlic in their kitchen to up their chances of being turned.. Not that I mind cos I do more than that.. Ive started prowling in the dead of night garbed in a 16th century night gown, avoiding the sun to get super-pale Vampir-esque skin, and... oh, drinking artificial blood.harhar! am not kidding.

But yes, I was kidding. That was downright ghoulish. The fact is I really, really loved the movie, the characters, everything. I loved the Cullens. And I'm grateful for Meyer for highlighting yet another trait of the vampires, that of being fiercely loyal. Not one family has made such an
impression on me since, the Addams Family.Vampires have always been creatures of the dark, enigmatic and full of Old World glamour. To live with them is to give up the light of day though, and everything we've always known about living. It'd be anything but normal. But then the Cullens came along, and that changed. Suddenly, it's not going to be such a drastic, heavy change anymore. And maybe that's why I both love and hate Meyer for writing Twilight. She has perfectly brought to life my ideal vampire. He's no longer the brooding and sexy, yet sulking creature. He laughs, he hold hands, a real sensitive, tender man... I could go on and on. On the one end though, she brought him out there for everyone to ogle at.. which sucks big time.

With thanks to flickerbitches at http://www.flickr.com/photos/30458455@N03/2854651408/ for the pic.

.. the other side of Coldplay

I'm a chronic late blogger. It's either I blog about something way before it becomes generally known , or long after the hype has died down. One example was when I posted a short but overly excited blog on the movie Cloverfield after accidentally stumbling on it's web site http://1-18-08.com/ middle of 2007. And then ending up not watching the movie at all when it finally hit the theaters because of overwhelming bad reviews. Bummer.

And so here I am blogging again on an album that has been released for 17 weeks already. The fact is, when the album, COldplay's Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends dropped on 06-17, I hurried to a music store but was disappointed to find out it's not yet available locally. After 3 years of waiting for this album, I had no choice but to have it downloaded in mp3 format. And here's the part where I should explain about this unexplicably late blog:

a. I had been so pre-occupied/stressed-out with work that I couldn't calm my mind enough to write down a coherent 100-word blog.

b. I just finally admitted to myself that I'm a certified couch potato and would engage in hours of dvd marathon while wolfing down whatever food is at hand. Now, there's something liberating about that. At last, I can indulge in my favorite past time without the barest hint of guilt.

c. It dawned on me about 2 weeks ago that all my movie marathon activity - or inactivity, for that matter - is being paid for dearly by my now non-existent waistline.So I went to a gym, signed up, and started working like crazy ( notice how when you're in front of the tv, time seems to whizz by faster than you could say "House". But in the gym, you might as well be staring at an hourglass with the sand dropping in real slow motion. And so blogging about the album was further pushed into the recesses of my now cobwebby mind.

d. But perhaps the biggest reason of all was that I felt I sincerely needed more time to listen to the songs before throwing in my two-cents worth into cyberspace. This simply isn't your typical Coldplay album. Having refrained from reading pre-launch reviews, imagine my surprise after hearing Violet Hill - devoid of piano and Chris Martin's falsetto, sounding more political than heart-wrenching. Track after track - Viva la Vida, Cemeteries of London, Strawberry Swing, Yes, Chinese Sleep Chant - I might as well be listening to an entirely different band. None of the thing that I loved about Coldplay were present in this album, which is more riff-heavy with Asian-flavored sounds and as diverse as one album can get - spin Chinese Sleep Chant, 42 and Lovers in Japan.It's almost as if the band took no chances and put out a platter of hors d'oeuvres aiming to please the global palate. Don't take me wrong though. I'm not bashing this new album, far from it. I love it! I think it's genius and brave for Coldplay to totally take a different route this time and gamble on the road less travelled. I can't imagine other bands abandoning their trademark sound and still make it out alive. I'm so happy coz it only means one thing - Coldplay is here to stay for a loooong time. So blogging about the album this late is also, in a way, intentional. Coz unlike the first three albums, this one wasn't love at first sight...er.. listen. It's more like wine, it gets better with time. Sooo looking forward to December now, reportedly they'll be releasing some tracks that didn't made the album's cut. can't hardly wait.

Disclaimer: Thanks to Userr for the great pic! http://www.flickr.com/photos/userr/1799660374/

on not being LoNelY alone...

"When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely... it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone".

-- Tennessee Williams ( as seen on one of Criminal Minds episode)

MY SO-CALLED LIFE

(I know, this is such a total rip off from the TV show of the same title but what can I do, can't think of anything more original)

I've been lying in bed for like 5 hours, desperate to catch a wink but can't coz I have the worst cold ever. The kind that inhibits you to get enough oxygen to breathe and causes a splitting headache. I can't think exactly how much damage I'm causing my sinuses from blowing my nose too hard. And on times like this, lying in unwilling wakefulness,all sort of thoughts come to mind.I had a dream the other night. And in that dream, I was told I have Leukemia, which is like being sentenced to death.The funny thing is, the person who told me isn't even a doctor, just an acquaintance. For some reason, I gave her a sample of my blood and she looked at it and declared that I have too much red blood cells and too few platelets.Which doesn't make any sense at all but I believed her. I even told her that explains why I have these cuts on my knees that doesn't heal easily.So I'm dying, I'm 27 years old and I'm dying.

Next episode of my dream series. I met this guy and I married him. Can you believe it?! You don't marry guys you just met! Not unless you're in Vegas, of course. But I'm thinking, at least, in dreamland, I've got serious balls, or mental illness, depending on how you'd look at it.What surprised me though was that I had the nicest feeling. I actually liked this unknown guy and it was such a nice feeling being married to him. Weird. Considering how I hated the fact that people around me are jumping into the Marital Bliss? bandwagon like there's no tomorrow.

Speaking of there being no tomorrow, what bothered me most about the dreams was the one where I was dying. I'm not ready to die, yet. Nobody is. There's too much things left undone, too many words unsaid. But the truth is, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and that's that, the end of this so called life. So the most logical thing to do is to live life like there's no tomorrow. Yeah, try doing this and you'd look like you're on a daily dose of ecstacy. Ohh, not nice. Ok, so it's definitely easier said than done. But what's a girl to do? I've always said it's so much better to know you're dying than having you're life taken like the candle light on a heavy gust of wind.But since we're not privy to God's plan,I try and keep a few things in mind, such as:

1. To each his own. I always try to remember that God has a different plan for each of us. So if a friend or a neighbor gets lucky in life, I try to avoid the initial feeling most of us would get, that of feeling envious. Telling myself "That is his/her life. You have your own" usually works.

2. Mind your own business. Resist engaging in rumour mongering. I know this is tough since it seems to be a favorite past time for a lot of people and refusing to at least listen could easily make you an outcast.What works for me? I try and treat gossips like water through a sieve, it goes in and it goes right out. I don't let it affect my perception of the subject's character. If they say someone's bad news, well, I just have to see for myself.

3. I force myself to show emotion. That is, telling people how I feel about them, especially my family. It has always been awkward for me to say the three words to my parents, or sisters for that matter. And I can remember the number of times I've told my Mom that I love her: one. And thru sms at that. And she initiated it so it would be so wrong to not reciprocate. I'm still far from being vocal about my feelings.

4. Learn how to touch-and-go.I do believe that at the instant I set foot in the working world, life had been one of touch-and-go. If I really think about it, it started when I left town to attend college in another city. But I had been emotionally attached to a lot of people during that stage that I could never think of them as mere extras in my life story. Beyond that though, I try not to be too attached with the people I meet along the way, especially since most of them are transients. You learn from them, you have fun with them, and then you go your own way.Cos if you allow yourself to be too involved, you will have a problem moving on.

Disclaimer: huge thanks to Sola Lumina Captura for her pic above. Great shot! I've always had a thing for highways, dirtpaths, the roads less travelled.. someday I'm gonna put together a portfolio on ROADS. Sola's site and her great pics are on this site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/solaluminacaptura/54667385/

Step up and show them what you're made of...

"If the CREATOR had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely meant us to sTiCk iT OuT."

-- Arthur Koestler, in "Encounter"

There's something about Bihon. Medyo natatawa ako sa sarili ko habang sinusulat ito, di naman ako gutom at natatakaw dito. Subalit kung meron mang isang pagkain na hinding-hindi ko pagsasawaan kesehodang araw-arawin ko pa ito, iyon ay walang iba kundi ang bihon. Hindi ko rin naman masabi kung ano ang nagustuhan ko dito, wala naman akong pinipili eh, espesyal o ordinaryong luto man, gusto ko pa rin. Sa totoo lang, noong nasa hayskul ako at madalas ay nagpupunta kami sa mga piyesta, madalas sa hindi, sa dami ng bahay na pinupuntahan, sa unang bahay lang kami kumakain ng ulam at kanin at sa ikalawang bahay hanggang sa huli, panghimagas na lang ang kinakain ng mga kasama ko. Sila
yun. Ako hindi. Lahat ng bahay, may isang luto sila na kinakain ko. Nahulaan mo, bihon. Walang bahay na hindi ko tinitikman ang bihon nila. Wala akong pakialam sa leche flan, buco salad, gelatin, o ano pa mang matamis. Kaya nga siguro, panahon na para magsulat naman ako tungkol dito.

Wala na nga ni munting alinlangan na paborito ko ito, pero umabot ako ng edad na dalawampu't pitong taon na di ko nasubukang magluto nito. Ngayon lang. Naisip ko kasi, siguro naman dapat na akong magsumikap na matutong magluto nito. Kaya medyo kabado ako ng napagdesisyunan kong subukang magluto sa unang pagkakataon. At talagang pinaghandaan ko ito. Humingi ako ng recipe sa kakilala kong nakapagtrabaho sa Chowking at tinanong ko ang mga sangkap at
proseso ng pagluluto nila. Kahit hindi man eksaktong nasunod ang mga hakbang, naging matagumpay pa rin ang resulta.Yun nga lang inabot yata ako ng ilang oras. Kasi ba naman, sa paghiwa pa lang ng carrots, baguio beans at cabbage, inabot na ako ng siyam-siyam. At ganun pala pag ikaw ang nagluluto, parang nawawalan ka ng tiwala sa sarili mong panlasa. Pakiramdam ko kasi di pa rin sya masarap nung malapit ko na syang hanguin, panay ang dagdag ko ng Knorr Ginisa Mix, napapraning ako. Ganunpaman, sulit na rin ang pagod at agam-agam sapagkat naging masarap naman ang kinalabasan nito.Nasasabik na tuloy akong magbakasyon sa amin at nang maipangalandakan ko sa aking mga magulang na marunong na akong magluto ng bihon. Yayayain ko silang magbeach at magboboluntaryo akong magluto nito at ng iba pang lutuin na natutunan kong gawin sa maikling panahon ng pamamalagi ko dito sa Pampanga. Pero
diyata't malabong mangyari ito. Sa tagal ng oras na gugugulin ko sa pagluluto, baka dapithapon na di pa kami nakakaalis ng bahay. Hhhmmpp... maghihintay na lang ako ng espesyal na okasyon.

Disclaimer: Whew! Thought I'd have a hard time finding a good pic for this. Didn't even take 3 secs. This pic is hosted here http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenilio/144023862/ . Thanks Flipped Out!

on HAPPINESS...

We were swimming yesterday (not in a beach, just a pool) when I thought how being near any body of water makes me happy. I had a blast trying to learn diving and swimming at the bottom of the pool, cos until then all I know is floating. I'm currently located in Central Luzon and it's a big mass of land, meaning no good beach without travelling for hours. Which was tough because considering where I'm from, Boracay is less than an hour away and beaches are mere minutes away. When I was working in Iloilo too, Guimaras island with all it's creamy colored sand beaches was a 15-min boat ride. So to never see a beach for 1 year and 9 mos was excruciating. I'd say despite the very long trip going to Potipot, Zambales last weekend, it was all worth it. Besides the beach, other small things also make me happy. And I'd list several of those here to remind myself happiness can be found in the littlest of things. I hope years from now and I reread this stuff, everything will still hold true.

1. Sitting on the shore, looking out to sea and feeling the warm sunshine and salty air on my skin, while listening to Big Mountain's Baby I Love Your Way. Watching the waves turn foamy white as it crashes into shore and walking barefoot in the sand.

2. DVD marathon of vampire movies and TV series (like Criminal Minds and Prison Break) and some feel good films.

3. When I'm at home,doing nothing and having your parents take care of you. When I don't have to cook my own meals, with somebody to wake me up, and with my little nephew to play with.

4. When I'm not at home, when I have to look after myself and be independent. It contrasts with No.3 but both are true. Number 3 happens very rarely now but it's always nice to be home from time to time.

5. Travelling to new places by myself. Going to new places where you don't know anybody and nobody close by to run to in case things go wrong can be exhilarating. It's exciting to just have information from the net and found out how far you can go with it.

6. When it's raining and I can just stay home and sip coffee and let time pass by idly.

7. Reading a very good book.

8. Floating in the water on a beach at night and gazing up at a star-filled sky, with only the sound of the waves as it hits the shore and the breeze breaking the silence of the night.

9. Listening to some hip-hop songs and dancing like crazy. And doing karaoke too.

10. Riding a bicycle.

11. Eating out with friends whom I don't see too often now.

12. Going to really remote places where the air smells of earth and grass. Where there are rivers and mountains and cows and chickens roaming around. Where I can hear crickets in the evening and the rooster's crow in the morning.Where people are unbelievably nice.

13. Getting an 8-hr sleep. When I can stay late in bed and wake up when my body is ready to wake up and not because the alarm clock says it's time to get up. I just love sleeping.

Disclaimer: The picture that appeared here is hosted on this site http://www.flickr.com/photos/psychojr/77488234/. Thanks PsychoJr

Potipot Island (beach, at last!!!)

And we finally did it. That is, pull off an AWOL on one another. Flashback maybe 4 or 5 years ago, two of my friends (Frenz and Francis) and I went to Boracay during Christmas break,and we had a great time. Until we made a joke on Frenz, pissed him off, and next thing we knew, he was gone in the morning.
2007,Baguio. The three of us went up to Baguio for the Panagbenga festival. We took the bus at 10pm from Pampanga and got there around 2 in the morning. Walked around for any inn with rooms to spare, found none ( which isn't surprising considering it was the day of the festival and every nook and cranny of the city is packed).So we ended up passing the time in a fastfood joint, then in a dingy karaoke bar, until 5am when we went up to Minesview Park and was rewarded with a pink moon. By noon, I got tired of pausing in the street to nab a shot of every flower float there is.Frenz is a photography enthusiast. I wanted to check out the trade fair and buy some home made strawberry jams as we have to head home by 3pm but they would hear none of it. There seemed to be a whole lot of flower floats that turned up in the park that we haven't seen during the parade, and they headed there like a pair of ravenous bees. Tired and sleepy, I told Francis I'd split and that maybe we'll just meet later before heading home. By 3pm and I havent heard from them, I went home by myself.
2008, Zambales. Another spontaneous trip. Frenz and I met up with Francis around 12 midnight (spent the whole day with my sister whom I was visiting, the initial sole purpose of the trip to Manila) and decided we'd catch the 3am bus trip to Candelaria,Zambales. Destination - Potipot, a really small white sand island.We missed the Express Bus for Candelaria because of the not so express Ticketing clerk and had to get the trip for the nearby town, and rode another bus from there. The whole trip took around 6hrs and by then I was thirsty as a mule in the desert. Unfortunately, the town's just been hit by a storm and they have had no electricity for two weeks, so I had to settle for a room-temp soda. Ok, i can deal with that. But, boy! Was I hungry! We hadn't had breakfast and had no sense to bring food with us either.It was noon by then so before we headed to the island, we asked Aling Minda, from whom we arranged the boat ride for the island, where we could buy food for lunch. And she said "Ay naku! Sa Dawal pa!" And it felt like a blow in my chest. I thought "s#it! so we have to travel again to some nearby town in order to buy food?" The same thought occured to my friends and panic began to set in. With a voice pitch higher than normal we asked: "So where is this Dawal restaurant and how do we get there?" And the reply: " You see that gate along the road where you just came from? You wouldn't miss it". We were shocked and thought is she kidding us? We went there and sure enough,the restaurant was just a stone's throw away from us, but from the way she answered our question, it sounded like it was in the next town. I don't know what happened, we weren't lost in translation cos we were talking in Tagalog. Maybe Aling Minda just haven't had lunch yet,lol! Within minutes we were at the island, which turned out to be so small, you can go around the island in less than half an hour. But the beach is divine. The sand is creamy in color and the water is so salty it makes floating so much easier.
We sat down to lunch right after getting off the boat and was soon into snapping and posing for pictures about an hour later. Me and Frencel, that is. Francis chose to spend his first few hours dozing which we thought was unwise after travelling for a quarter of a day.We were swimming when we noticed Francis talking to some men on the island and not long after, we saw him being ferried off back to the main island. We were confused to say the least. We kept on theorizing whatever it is that we have done wrong but failed to come up with any plausible explanation.We decided not to go after him, we thought he's a grown up and there must be a valid explanation for what he did, and although we might not hear of it soon, maybe sometime in the future. Oh well, for all we know, he just suddenly developed a flair for the dramatic.As for me, after being away from the beach for more than a year, I happily splashed away.
*** Thanks again to my friend Frencel for the pics, as usual. :)

when in a rut.. look forward to TOMORROW

Life's a real wheel. This is primarily the reason why I worry whenever I feel so happy over something. So I've never had absolute happiness, you know, being happy without a dark thought of "it" being gone tomorrow.Whenever I feel light and happy and carefree that I laugh over the most mundane of things, behind it all, I'm thinking " hey, maybe I shouldn't laugh too hard, I don't wanna be crying tomorrow.Believe me,call it superstitious but this happened a lot of times in the past.So it shouldn't come as a surprise then that while I blogged about being happy yesterday, I am feeling low and gloomy and disappointed today. I can't believe how things can turn around so quickly. It's nothing major but I guess I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. I just feel like I had to write about this, vent it out, get it out of my system. Cos this feeling is ugly and anything that's ugly and you let it simmer inside you will eventually nibble at whatever goodness you have in you. I hope this is making sense.

Anyway, what's gotten me feeling so down today has something to do with a person. You know when there's a person that you look up to, that you have so much respect for (even if you've only been with the person for a week or two, say in a convention), unfair as it may be to that person, we develop a set of expectations for them. So when they do something that we thought is so totally out of character(from our perception), we get DISAPPOINTED. And it's the worst feeling in the world ever. Well, next to regret maybe. I met this person in a group setting and I thought he's great, kind and considerate. patient. I can't go into the details but the thing is he did do something no one expected him to do. I don't know how the others felt about it but me, I felt let down. Gosh! When will I ever learn not to expect too much from anybody?I feel a little better now. Well, just look at the brighter side. From where I am now emotionally, there's nowhere to go but up.As always, when in a rut, there's one phrase that never fails to perk me up:

"This too shall pass."

- from the movie My Best Friend's Wedding

Viva la Vida!

Whew! I'm so happy today. First, coz we're finally done with this training that had been running for 2 weeks. Before that, I've been through week-long trainings too for 2 different projects. It's true what they say about this company that I'm working for, training never ends. And its fine, but sometimes it just feels like I've enrolled myself in a graduate school and all the jittery feelings associated with student life rushes back in. But all that's done, at least for now.

Secondly, I've finally watched Violet Hill's official video! Wow! Welcome back, guys! Not that they've been away but I've been waiting for this like forever. 3 years seemed like an eternity. I've read somewhere that Coldplay felt like their first 3 albums was a trilogy and they wanted something different for their 4th album. After I heard Violet Hill, yeah, it's a bit different but every bit as good as their past songs that I've grown to love over the years. Just how different this album would be from their past ones is still early to say as I haven't heard the other songs yet. All I can say is that I've never been disappointed with the band, I've loved them from Shiver days to Swallowed In The Sea.And I love Yellow, which incidentally,is my favorite karaoke song, lol!

It is pleasant to note too that there'd been quite a few nice other comebacking artists as well.I'm loving Jason Mraz's I'm Yours ( liked him the first time ) and Ryan Cabrera's Say ( didn't like him the first time ).

So, great music + laid-back atmosphere( for now, anyway) = a nice sunny life

Viva La Vida!

PS. lotsa thanks to emorix (http://www.flickr.com/photos/em0rix/2510019469), feishien (http://www.flickr.com/photos/feishien/2394698695) and tonythisismusic (http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonythisismusic/2467331673) for the album pics.

IRON MAN: Downeyland

I went into the cinema not expecting much. After all, it’s ANOTHER Marvel comics adaptation. And yet, long before its play date, I have decided i'll be joining the long queues. I'm not a fan of Iron Man either. I have a vague recollection of it as a kid, but it isn't something that figured much in my early life. Sure, I love both Gwyneth and Terrence, and I'd watch any movie of theirs. But the sole all important decision-making factor this time is Robert Downey Jr. God! How I missed the man. Back from the brink, and how! I have loved Robert Downey Jr. ever since I saw him in the movie Only You, with Marissa Tomei. And he's up there in my list of not-so-Hollywood-handsome but charming and amazingly talented actors, along with Joaquin Phoenix.

So since I have a very flimsy familiarity with the character, I’d much rather talk about the movie’s star, Robert Downey Jr. He was just perfect for the character. Despite being a genius, he doesn't look geeky at all. For a playboy billionaire, he definitely walks with a confident swagger but not too much that he'd seem to walk with the hips jutted out at a 90 degree angle. He just seemed every bit the gifted, filthy rich individual who thinks who deserves all of it and more .He was convincing at this, and just as convincing when his character developed a heart, a conscience, and a sense of responsibility, in no particular order, during the latter part of the movie. It was very real I’d say, the display of emotion, how an utter genius can create such amazing technology. Although we have to overlook the fact though that it may seem a bit impossible to finish the metallic armor suit overnight, when they were given an ultimatum. Ah well, sitting back and believing wasn’t a big problem for me. Robert just made all of it easy for us, even to those strangers to the Marvel character. And as always, Gwyneth was marvelous. Can’t wait for the sequel, I’m pretty sure there will be one. Ain’t there always? It’s the decade of trilogies after all.

Note: Thanks to FLG8R for the pic. http://www.flickr.com/photos/ebuen/2462816829/.

DISHING ON GOSSIP GIRL...

XoXo! GG, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

1. Gossips! It certainly brings out the gossipmongers in all of us. Who doesn't love gossips and catfights? Girls who don't have the balls to bitch in real life gets their dose of daily bitching, thanks largely to Blaire and her posse.

2. The designer clothes! Blair and Serena never cease to dazzle in clothes that would turn Hollywood starlets to shame. And Chuck Bass! He single-handedly redefined the meaning of a seemingly mundane scarf.

3. Nate Archibald. Ahhh... you can wipe the drool off the desk now, it's gross.

4. Reformed bad girl meets good boy and lives happily ever after. Well, maybe that's too early to say. Let's see how things turn out for Serena and Dan in Season 2.

5. The parents! Now how weird is that? Gossip girl is perhaps the only teen series with the parents not only very visible but with their own juicy stories to tell. And such stories! I'm totally rooting for Lily and Rufus.

... All these, and more. I was actually skeptical the first time I saw Gossip Girl. They look too old, too sophisticated to pass off as high school students. And I've never seen a single classroom during the entire run of the first season, ever. But what do I know. Also, it isn't a reality show but oddly, I felt like a voyeur during the first few episodes. These Upper East Siders are totally different creatures and I felt like if I'm not careful, I'd be found out. But these weird feelings soon passed and before I know it, Gossip Girls blogging about me and my totally scandalous life... yeah, like, in my dreams.

* Thanks to sxy_shandy for the pic. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sxy_shandy/2083994332/

BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO

I'm writing a break up letter. Or specifically a break up email. Or... call it anything you like but its a correspondence to my boyfriend with the intent of severing our relationship. Ouch! The word severe alone is painful. And I take a deep breath. It's funny how it is so damn easy jumping into a relationship but such a pain in the *ss getting out of one. For one, I still love the person. But we all know love is never enough.It shouldn't be the sole reason for trying to make a relationship work.Two different people in love? In the end, those differences will pull each other apart, and love withers. Love is enough to make the world go round, but not enough to sustain a relationship. Don't ask me to elaborate some more. Please.

Relationships I think, are a lot like drugs. I dread to think of the next few days, weeks, when the temptation to crawl back into the habit is the strongest.When everyday you're reminded that there is this void that desperately needs to be filled. I say if there are Alcoholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, and Serial Killers Anonymous, bring on BrokenHearted Anonymous. Somebody register that name, if it isn't already.Damn!Withdrawal's such a b*tch.

Note: Thanks to Frencel for the pic posted here. For more of his great pics, visit this link http://frencelt.multiply.com/.

Paris... misunderstood heiress?

I'm having a bad case of writer's block. It's not possible? Ok, I know this is online blogging and we can write about absolutely anything. it can be be an aimless wandering of thoughts, or beat-around-the-Central-Park fashion and no one would care. Well, if Shakespeare can have a writer's block, what more can a regular rambler like me. So I've decided to talk about a certain topic that doesn't require the whole of my brain working. Paris Hilton.

Ok, so we should have seen it coming.I mean, with the pairing of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, it was only a matter of time before Paris finds her way into the arms of Joel's twin, Benji Madden. Yeah! Lifestyle of the rich and famous! But this is not going to be another Paris bashing. Quite the opposite.

You see, I quite like her. I can almost hear the resounding "WHAT?!!". But really, I mean how many people has no qualms living the life they want without care as to what the world thinks about them? Like most young, red-blooded single female, she's enamored with boys, and she shows it. She's been called a slut for this. But that does stop her? No. She likes fashion, and she indulges herself in it. She may bordering on the extreme and tacky but she still couldn't care less. She likes partying and she haunts the coolest, wildest bar like there's no tomorrow. But then, how many girls her age are not guilty of one or all three of these wants? boys, clothes, party? Not too many I'm sure. Yet, she's being blasted for it, all because she's famous. Exactly why she should watch her behaviour you say, lest the young 'uns emulate her. This is what's wrong with society, people blaiming the celebrities for their kids misconduct. Anyone, but themselves. Parents, take some responsibilities please. Everything still begins at home.

I guess the only exception to Paris conduct that disappointed me was her DUI case. But then she served her time so I've forgiven her on that. Ohhh, this reminds me of how a certain stand up comedian by the name of ------- mocked her on stage during VMA, the night before she turned herself in. That was sooo not funny. If anything, it was pathetic. I mean, if a comedian's idea of being funny is putting down people, making fun of people, having people laugh at someone rather than at themselves, then she should seriously consider a career change.

So, if anything, Paris simply knows what most of us fail to realize until its too late. Life is short, and we only got one life to live. So live it according to what your heart desires.

So she may be bubblegum pop, but Im still gonna spin Stars Are Blinds on my trip at the beach.

Note: Thanks to jerm_jan's for Paris' very nice black and white. http://www.flickr.com/photos/24133348@N08/2286038222/

Step Up and Dance..

I hate sequels. Usually.I mean, can you count how many great movies established a legion of fans only to disappoint them with inexplicably bad sequels? And there's one major reason for this common pitfall, PROFIT. It is what drives producers to hastily try and come up with another movie, to capitalize on the success of the first one. But happily, there had been exceptions: Spiderman, LOTR: The Two Towers, and a few others.

Surprisingly, Step Up 2: The Streets made the narrow cut. It is almost at par with the first one and with one distinct difference to its advantage. While the concept is still fighting for what you're passionate about, stepping up for what you believe in despite the odds, it is devoid of the sappy drama that was injected in the first one. Remember when Skinny Carter had to die? And how it changed his brother Mac for the better? I felt like they just had to include that to give the movie more depth. But it felt fake to me. And it's the only part that I didn't like in the first movie. Why couldn't they have done away with it and made the change triggered internally rather than from something happening from the outside? Furthermore, the second one had another valuable lesson. Not all the people you become friends with are family. These kind of families can jilt you at any given time and give you a false sense of belonging. But of course, what made the movie fun is still the adrenaline pumping dance routines, and the music. Favorite scene in the movie? When Moose danced to Timbaland's The Way I Are on the school steps. And the ending? Definitely explosive! Step Up just made the list of my fave dance movies that includes Center Stage and You Got Served.

* With thanks to Moncs for the pic posted here. http://www.flickr.com/photos/moni42/2401245831/

Summer of '01 (my first attempt at fiction)

And so it was that as I stand looking at his retreating back, I was hit by the most intense sadness, realizing that it would be the last time Id ever see him again. I stood frozen in time. I was willing my legs to move but a part of me refuses for it would mean moving forward in time as well. I cannot and do not consider living the life that lies ahead of me, a life devoid of his love, of happiness. My happiness was him. And now I am just a shell of my previous self. If breathing and moving and eating make one alive, then I am alive. Being alive though is far from living a life. And as I took a step backward, I moved back in time, to the only life I could ever live.

It was the summer of '01, a summer Id expected to be no different than past summers: humid, boring, painfully predictable. I am one of those people who actually enjoys being in school and while summer provides a much needed respite from school work and pressures, I regard it as nothing but a temporary lull in the turbulent but happy chaos that is college life. Little did I know that this summer is going to be the summer of my life.

I pushed the glass door and made my way through the aisle of video tapes. I was going to return some movies I’ve rented and going to get new ones. I’ve been watching some old movies lately, trying to get acquainted with the last few decades film produce. As I was thumbing through titles, moving slowly across the aisle, I get that blank, self-absorbed look on my face. My friends always tell me they could never tell what goes on in my mind when I look that way. It’s actually my "do-not-attempt-to-get-friendly-with-me-if-i-dont-know-you look". Then I heard a voice near me say,

"Any good movie they have here?”

I went on browsing silently and felt a soft nudge in my elbow. I didn’t realize the stranger was talking to me. I then looked around and felt foolish, we're the only customer inside the shop. The feeling was immediately replaced by a mild irritation and surprise though. He seemed unaffected by the mask I’m wearing, and he was actually looking like he expected an answer from me. This had never happened and I was in a bit of a muddle.

"I’m sorry to intrude but my mother asked me to rent some movies for her but she gave no specific titles. I don’t know what she'd like".

" Oh ok, and I strike you as someone who watches her kind of movies.."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted it. It sounded defensive, and really lame.

" I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.. here.. maybe she'd like this. that is, if she hadn’t seen this already."

" A Room With A View?"

"It’s a classic love story, perhaps she'd enjoy that."

"Oh ok, thanks. She's actually home sick so I’m doing these things for her".

"Sorry to hear that.Btw, try and look for the Last Of The Mohicans. I know they’ve got it here somewhere. She might like that too. Tell her to skip some gory scenes though.. "

"Will do that. Thanks for your help, I really appreciate it.."

"No problem. Hope she gets well soon".

"Thanks. Oh btw, I’m Michael. I’m new here.."

"yeah, I thought as well. I’m Lucy. Well, see you around.."

and started to walk out the door..

"Wait, aren’t you going to rent some movies yourself?"

"No, I was actually just returning some.. bye.."

And I walked out into to bright afternoon sunshine...And I thought that was the last Id see of him. I wasn’t even sure that If Id bump into him in the mall or somewhere, that Id have the gall to say hi. Perhaps, he might not even remember me at all. During the brief encounter in the movie shop, Id avoided looking at him directly. It isn’t just that I’m terribly shy, but I hadn’t missed the fact that he's kind of cute and lanky. And those kind of guys I always thought to demand or expect some attention. So when those guys are around me, it amuses me that when you don’t give them what they expect, they end up the ones noticing you. sneaky. sneaky..

So it came as a surprise when coming home late afternoon, my mother told me that I got a call from someone..

"Who?"

" He said Michael from-the-video-shop. Said he'd just call back.."

I was secretly pleased by the fact that he's not presumptuous enough to leave his phone number and expect me to call him back. I took it as a good sign. And though I tried not to hang around by the phone the remainder of the afternoon, I made sure that I’m within earshot of it. And soon enough, the phone rang.

"I'll get it Mom!"

I fought the urge to pick up before the first ring ended, though it makes me nervous thinking that the caller would hang up. It surprised me to realize that I'd been hoping it'd be him, and it was.

"Hi, is Lucy there?"

"it's me, who's this pls?"

" Oh hi Lucy! Its Michael, you know, the guy you met in the movie shop?"

"Yeah, I remember you, what's up?"

"Look, I’m sorry to be calling you all of a sudden. I hope you forgive me, but I took the liberty to get your phone number from the sales clerk. It was really nice meeting you and it was sort of, you know, very brief.."

"yeah, well, guess its ok. So, how's your mom?"And that had been the first of many tele-thons. We ended up talking for hours. Funny, first calls are supposed to be awkward and short but ours felt like we've known each other forever. Apparently we liked the same things, sort of introvert but can be really social at times, and we both feel like we're old souls born in the wrong century. We would literally burn the phone each night, not stopping until the phone becomes so warm I had to pad it with a hankie. It took us 2 weeks before agreeing to see each other again though, and it felt even better. When I’m with him, my senses seem to be fully acute. I notice how he squints his eyes when he tries to remember something, notice that he has pianist's fingers, although when I asked him he said he never really learned to play any instrument but enjoys listening to very diverse music. Incidentally, we both like Coldplay.And it amuses him how Id know stuff about Hollywood celebrities lives. He's not into them, but lets me prattle on and on about them. He said, he doesn’t really care about them, but he cares about me, so it doesn’t matter what Id be talking about, he'd listen encouragingly. Gosh! this is when I realize I’m falling in love. I’ve always wondered how you would know if you're in love, are there specific symptoms? signs? I've had boyfriends in the past, and I liked them too, but not this way. With him, I just know. We've never said the three words yet though, and I long to tell him that.

So to say the least, that had been the summer of all summers. We would hit the beach almost everyday. The sky is always a color of vivid blue quite unlike what I’ve seen before. You can almost taste the salt in the air and the temperature's hot but not humid. The birds would always seem to fly in synchronized formations, the sound of waves almost hypnotic as they crash in the shore. Perfect. But of course, I was seeing things through my love struck eyes. Back then, nothing else matters more than the sensation of my fingers entwined with his, the look in his eyes that would automatically soften as he looks into mine, and how he can almost tell what I’m thinking, even if im saying things otherwise. Damn, I never thought I'd ever believe in soul mates, but if I have one, then Id found him.It was too perfect to be true, and indeed it was.

Midway into May when our regular rendezvous stopped being, well, regular. He would excuse himself sometimes, and our daily trek to the beach became thrice, twice weekly. He would always say his mother needs him. In all our times together, things are so perfect that I never get around to asking what exactly ails his mother. Sickness spoils happiness. And I was starting to feel rejected and hurt. I have a feeling he was just using his mother's sickness as an excuse not to be around me anymore. I decided Id go and confront him about it. Id tell him that If he'd found another girl, then dumping me would be less hurting that waiting for someone that will never come around. I thought confronting him would be the right thing to do. Was I wrong. I wish Id just waited for him to break it up to me. As I slowly made my way to his house, I can feel my eyes hurting and start to water with the thought that I’m about to lose the only person who had ever made me feel vulnerable but protected. But I fought the tears from falling, I am not about to make myself look like a fool in front of a boy, not even him. When I knocked on the door, it was opened by a tall, fiftyish guy who vaguely resembles Michael. He was surprised when I told him I’m there to see Michael and said

" Oh, you must be Lucy. He wouldn’t want your being here."

I felt like Id been slapped. And as my face reddened, the guy quickly recovered and said

" Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t mean it that way."

As we were traversing our way through this awkward situation, a woman about the guy's age came in. They turned out to be Michael's parents and the mom looked anything but sick. They sat me down and went on to tell me about Michael's lies. His mother had never been sick, it was Michael who is. He has colon cancer. The doctors in the US had given up on him and the family decided for him to have his last days here. During their first weeks here, Michael had kept with himself and goes out only to rent movies, which was how he would pass the time at home. But when he met me, things changed. They said he became more enthusiastic about things, radiated energy, and almost seemed like he wanted to live life to the fullest. They warned him about getting closer to me, said he would hurt us both but decided to go on with it anyway. By this time, I had already broken down in tears. They waited for me to calm down and led me to his bedroom. The expression on Michael's face when he saw me was a mixture of happiness, relief and regret. And then I ran to him and hug him tight.

" Silly! And you thought you can break free of me just like that? No Mister, you will never be free of me."

And we laughed and hugged and cried. I stayed with him everyday of that summer, until he went away. And then everything changed. The wind became colder, the waves crash deafening, the sky a gloomy blue and the birds flew in haphazard ways. Ahhh... but things will never be the same again. And there is not a night when I don’t dream of him walking away from me.. from this life. But I'll go through life assured of one thing.. We'll be seeing each other in another lifetime.

Note: Thanks to my friend Frencel Tingga for the pic. http://frencelt.multiply.com/photos/album/54/Bewitching_Siquijor#62

MURDER for Dummies..

Okay, after watching a full 2 seasons of CSI: New York and a decade long of reading/watching anything and everything on serial killers, and doing a school paper on it, I decided to write a short manual on how to commit murder, and get away with it.

1. Wear gloves. Never leave a print behind. Minor cases like misdemeanor or DUI over the years puts you in the system.

2. Never leave your weapon behind, and these includes not throwing them in sewers, trash bins, garbage chutes or in a corner alley. You won't believe how thorough CSI's can get.

3. If you used a gun, pick up your bullets and bring them along with you. Better yet, don't use a gun. Ballistics can be traced to you and blood spatter interpretation can tell a whole lot of story.

4. Do not spit, do not sweat. DNA, anyone? Might as well have turn yourself in if you leave some behind. Avoid drama by drinking something or raiding the vic's (Victim's ) refrigerator. Obviously, do not kiss the vic, or do anything beyond it either.

5. Wear a hairnet, or if you can, shave your head. Vanity can be a liability in successful perpetration.

6. Ensure there are no camera's around. Smash the camera, secure the tape. Make sure to check if the camera's connected to a PC somewhere (usually within the same building) and remove the disk.

7. If you plan of wining and dining your Vic first, make reservations in a pretty commonplace restaurant. Better if you opt for a fastfood chain. Not only is it crowded (narrows the chance of you two being identified), but it'll leave no clue to the Medical Examiner as to where the Vic ate prior to his/her ending up dead.( Some restaurants serve dishes that are only exclusive to their menu).

8. On your rush to get away, strive to be within city limits. Overspeeding can cause highway cameras to automatically take a shot of you.

9. Do away with motive. The most successful crimes are those that are done to random people, strangers. Remember the movie A Perfect Murder? This is difficult however if the crime is personal.

10. Establish an alibi. This is more difficult to do, unless you're Superman or has the ability to duplicate yourself and be somewhere else and at the crime scene at the EXACT same time.Make sure someone sees you and will vouch for your presence during so and so time when the investigation begins.

11. If blood stained your clothes, do not attempt to wash it off then not dispose of it properly. You may pour a whole bottle of disinfectant or detergent on it, and blood would still be detectable. What to do? Sail into the ocean and dispose of the clothes. Now, that's what you call proper disposal.

12. If you need to dispose of anything at the crime scene, drugs, a note or pills, the toilet is NOT an option.Drugs and pills will merely dilute the water but the chemical components would still be detectable. And you'll be surprised at the various processes CSI's can use to make the unreadable legible again. If you need to dispose of anything, see #s 2 and 11. Better yet, DO NOT dispose of anything at the crime scene.

There's still a whole lot more to the art of flawless crime making but I'll stop at # 12 at the risk of being boring, after all boredom kills.

Warning: The truth is, NO ONE gets away with murder. Thanks for letting me humor you. =)

With thanks to The Black Widow for the CSI:NY photo.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/11356431@N02/1104040704/

Michael Scoffield Defines Sexy...

Some girls find men in uniform sexy, but not prison uniform.

Ever since the series Prison Break hit the boob tube though, it had been a 360 degrees turn for officers and convicts, the latter scored higher in the hot-o-meter than the latter. I mean, they're way up there.It had been three seasons already and it’s left me clamoring for more. I'm hooked. The series had me at hello, so to say. And it's not just the intricate ink on his bod that makes Michael sexy. I mean you could cover the guy with ink and he'd still look as un-Con as any altar boy. Michael has both a glorious face and an appealing body. But as most girls would agree, those are not the only reasons we are drawn to him. The enigma that surrounds his character, his sensitivity, and the ability to relate to other people's pain, all those are what draws me in. But I would say the most potent of all, is his brain. The guy is a thinking man. He has no angle that I don't like but what I love most is when he gets that "look" on his face. When he stares intently into nothingness and try to think his way out of something. I swear, I can almost see the wheels turning furiously in his brain. Brain. That's what set him apart from the pack of other TV heroes that looks quite as good but definitely not as brainy. But then perhaps "brainy" is not the right word to use. It conjures an image of a bespectacled, pimpled face. Okay, I've got it. And this is not up for discussion. Michael Scoffield is "übersmart" and therefore, sexy. Can't wait for the fourth season.

Note: With thanks to WVS for the ingenious Prison Break image. http://www.flickr.com/photos/wvs/221255507/